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INTERCOURSE BEFORE MARRIAGE- (BIDU DHARE)- BILLAVA CUSTOMS

If a man has intercourse with a woman, and she becomes pregnant, he has to marry her to the 'bidu dhare' rite. Before the marriage ceremony is performed, he has to grasp a plantain tree with his right hand, and the tree is then cut down.

"Bidu Dhare" is a unique custom in the Billava community, particularly in Karnataka and Kerala.

Bidu Dhare:


1. Meaning: "Testing the compatibility" or "trial marriage".
2. Purpose: To assess the compatibility between the couple before marriage.
3. Practice: The couple is allowed to live together for a short period.

Historical Context:


1. Ancient practice: Bidu Dhare has its roots in ancient Billava customs.
2. Tribal influence: Influenced by tribal traditions, where trial marriages were common.

Customs and Rituals:


1. Family approval: Families agree to the trial period.
2. Temporary cohabitation: Couple lives together for a few days or weeks.
3. Assessment: Couple evaluates their compatibility.
4. Decision-making: Couple decides whether to proceed with marriage.

Significance:


1. Ensures compatibility: Helps prevent mismatched marriages.
2. Reduces divorce rate: Trial period helps identify potential issues.
3. Strengthens bond: Couples develop emotional intimacy.

Changes in Modern Times:


1. Decline of Bidu Dhare: Modernization and urbanization have led to a decline.
2. Social stigma: Viewed as unconventional or unacceptable.
3. Replacement with courtship: Younger generations prefer modern courtship.

Comparison with Other Communities:


1. Similar practices: Found in some African and Indigenous cultures.
2. Differences: Billava customs unique in Indian context.

Legal and Social Implications:


1. Legal concerns: Not recognized by Indian law.
2. Social implications: May lead to social ostracism.

Reference: 'The Mysore' by Venkatesa ayengar 
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